Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
