it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
