Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
