Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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