I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
