Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I smell stomach acid.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
