i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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