Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Come share oat with me in your robe
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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