Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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