oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
