Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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