i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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