I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
