Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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