I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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