i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There's always time for handjobs
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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