So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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