"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
