week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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