Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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