I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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