And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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