Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
