If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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