found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize