seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
