it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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