it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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