So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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