Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
