don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
