I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
