it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
