There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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