i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize