stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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