Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
