you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Randomize
