I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
