at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
