we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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