I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize