My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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