I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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