I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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