Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize