Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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