the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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