okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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