Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
