hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
