Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize