CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
