I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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