I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize