Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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