I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Holy shit dude........stairs
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
