....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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