oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
