Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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