So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
