tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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